


To Walk with the Sea

by Almagester



Category: Free!
Genre: And Kisumi (sort of), Boats and Ships, Comfort, Coping, Developing Friendships, Embroidery, Everyone deserves the world, Family, Feelings, Fishing, Friendship/Love, Grief/Mourning, Haru actually gets along with Sousuke, Haru just likes the ocean, Healing, Implied Hazuki Nagisa/Ryuugazaki Rei, Implied/Referenced Character Death, M/M, Makoto is like a fish snake, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, POV Nanase Haruka, Sailing, Sousuke is a Bro, mermako
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-04
Updated: 2018-09-04
Packaged: 2019-07-06 19:11:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,222
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15892299
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Almagester/pseuds/Almagester
Summary: Haruka Nanase's first love was the ocean, that hauntingly beautiful expanse of deep blue water, willing to detach himself from his former life in the city to live by its side. But when the loss of someone dear forces him to find comfort as well as beauty from the ocean, wisdom comes from an unexpected place, only to strike resoundingly true a mere few hours later."Something out there is worth staying alive for."





	To Walk with the Sea

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I recently became fascinated with the ocean (and by extension, mermaids) and this was one of the only ways I could find to vent my feelings. Unfortunately, I know literally nothing about the nautical lifestyle, so information about boats and fishing will be kept quite basic lol  
> *For the purpose of simplicity, "mermaid" will be used as an umbrella term*

“ _Do you hate people?_ ”

No, he always thought.

Socializing can often come with the risk of expending energy to the point of being nothing but taxing, but he didn’t really hate people. Watching the initial tiptoe around someone unfamiliar turn into a comfortable stroll with them adds to the appeal of it, but people weren’t the reason he chose to live here, so far away from the mingling of city lights and complex strangers.

" _I want to be near the water, that’s all._ ” He always answered.

Haruka Nanase always loved the ocean, and everything to do with it. He didn’t mind the aimless life he ended up living, so long as he could be lulled to sleep by the rise and fall of the ocean’s waves every night. Haru’s days of rush and coexisting in the city were long gone.

It was a port town on one side of a stone cliff, but there’s a small seaside house on the other side, settled along a rocky hill. Somehow, Haru had been lucky enough for the house to go into his possession. For some, it would’ve been lonely living on this side of the cliff by themselves, but Haru found it perfect, he never expected himself to be this close to the sea. It wasn’t too isolating either, the port’s fishermen visited frequently enough to prevent him from ever needing to crave companionship.

Today, it’s one of the coast’s typical overcast afternoons. The daylight is discernible through all the clouds, and that was enough, Haru thought.

When he had told his grandmother his plans to leave for a life by the sea, she only smiled with wise eyes crinkling, no surprise evident on her face.

_Your eyes always did look like the oceans I saw in magazines. Tell me if they match the real thing, too._

The ocean was a real comfort, all right. Shortly after his postcard telling her about it was sent, he received two letters back. A reply from her, telling him how beautiful it sounded and how much she missed him, and another from his father, telling him of her passing soon after. The reality of knowing what happened from so far away was surreal. Yet it somehow crashed around his shoulders and forced him down until some days it was like he crumbled into the ground.

Long after the flight back for the funeral, Haru still never stopped thinking about her when he watched the water sloshing around his feet, or churning under boats. He was standing tall in the sand, in the wake of a receding wave, but he knew a part of him shriveled up in the sun and drifted away.

Somehow the water still kept him grounded, it wasn’t solid of course, but he started believing that his grandmother hadn’t disappeared, she’s seeing for herself how beautiful and real the waters were. The loss strengthened his love for the miraculous depths that the ocean held, it was one of the last connections he held with his late grandmother.

As beautiful as oceans are, they’re not the same kind as a creek in a sunny forest. They’re beautiful, but eerily so. The most livid storms can bring forth terrors the sea hides easily in its endlessness, washing up in the sand.

And Haru thought the waters sounded angry, later that night. Powerful gusts almost rattled the windows, and he could clearly hear the roaring of the waves from inside the house. For a rare moment, Haru was terrified of what the ocean might bring the next morning. Which secret would it unveil this time?

\-----

Nothing unusual washed up for a week after the storm, so Haru just spent it as freely as he usually did. He ended up making a trip into town, he couldn’t possibly wait for a fisherman’s next visit. Even the biggest introvert would have to seek companionship sometimes. Just to remind them that they haven’t been burdened with the task of being the last human alive.

Walking through the stretch of land between cliff face and water in a mere five minutes, Haru could see the town. Some of it was situated against the mountain, where a road led to the outside world. The gloomiest day couldn’t possibly put a damper on the lively atmosphere of the little harbour. Haru smiled at the bustling of people on the dock, tethering ships to the wood and sending off others. He would never admit it, but he did memorize a few of the fishermen’s schedules.

The town was just as alive as the docks, market squares selling fish and produce were crowded. Haru could easily hear music reaching out from radios along kitchen windows. There’s no one managing a market stall for Haru to visit today.

One particular fisherman didn’t go out to sea as often and long as the others due to a faulty shoulder, so he headed toward the tackle shop, still taking in the breathtaking collage of the brightly-coloured buildings. It’s been a long time since he was here last. Haru admitted his fishermen friends did spoil him a lot by bringing him food and the like whenever they visited. A bell atop the shop door chimed as he stepped inside.

The clerk in the tackle shop peeked past the fishing rod display to look at him. “Ah, Nanase! I can never know when to expect you, you come by once in a blue moon.”

“Good to see you, Sousuke,” Haru greeted.

“Can I get you something?”

“No, I just wanted to see how you’re doing after the storm. You know you can call me Haru, though, right?”

The clerk rubbed the back of his neck, “Aha, sorry, it becomes a force of habit when you’re working here. You probably know how it is.”

Haru nodded, “Yeah.”

There was a brief, comfortable silence between them before Sousuke spoke quietly.

“How are you feeling, Haru?”

Haru pulled up a chair on Sousuke’s side of the counter, “I want to say I’m doing okay, but...I don’t really know, Sousuke. It’s been two years since my grandmother died, but I don’t seem to be getting better.”

Sousuke’s fingers tapped subconsciously on the countertop. “Ah. Well, I can’t say I have the best advice with loss like that, but just keep surviving, at least. Some days might feel unbearable and you’ll want to give up, but trust me when I say something out there is worth staying alive for. You’ll find it soon, I’m sure.”

“Thank you, your advice is the best advice to me,” Haru said.

“Oh, come on now.”

“I’m serious. I’m pretty sure I went into town today just to speak to you. Everyone else is probably busy at the dock.”

Sousuke smiled, “Good thing today, too. You saved me the trouble of walking over there because,” He reached and pulled out a bag from the cute mini fridge under the counter, “Rei helped me catch some mackerel earlier today and I thought I’d save it for you. I don’t fully understand some things behind human emotions, but I do get that days can be brightened by stuff you enjoy if you let yourself enjoy it.”

Even Haru could smile at that as he accepted the bag, “Thanks, I should probably get something for you sometime.” There’s not much he could do to match the wisdom Sousuke obtains from frequently being at the mercy of the ocean, though.

“Don’t worry about it, that’s what friends are for. I’ll come by tomorrow, it won’t be too busy here. Someone will be able to cover me.”

Haru nodded and waved goodbye as he left the shop, appreciating that Sousuke understood that a shop wasn’t the best place for comfortable conversations. There wasn’t much else for Haru to do in town, but he figured he’d take a little boat out to sail around. He might as well enjoy the way the lovely mountains and the water meet at a line. Perhaps he can catch something for Sousuke.

After storing the mackerel in his fridge for later and getting his fishing rod, Haru made his way down the wooden stairs by his house and returned to the dock.

A very familiar boatman waved at him, “Haru-chan! It felt like years since I’ve seen you, did something happen?” His mannerisms and speech made Haru think he was a child when he first met him.

“No Nagisa, everything’s fine, I just wanted to check on Sousuke today. I’m glad to see you’re doing well, too.”

“Me too, did you see that storm? I was out there and I thought we were all goners. There were lifeboats and jackets, but still. The ground was like, _tilting_ when we got back really late, and Rei-chan said I could’ve steered through the turbulence better, but it was hard to take him seriously when he was the last person sitting on the dock to get used to solid ground.” Nagisa giggled and shook his head.

As much as Haru enjoyed Nagisa’s anecdotes, he did worry about him and the others, they all had to deal with one of the ocean’s tempestuous moods at some point. Nagisa did once mention that you could never really get used to those situations.

Nagisa helped Haru into his life jacket and set him up with a boat before running off into town. Probably to go bother Sousuke, as he was the only one on land right now.

“If you see one of the others out there, tell them I said hi!”

Childish as Nagisa could be, it was admirable how well he had to deal with storms. Haru wouldn’t have been able to do what he does in a million years. He smiled at Nagisa’s form fading into the distance as his sailboat headed into deeper waters.

Haru only caught a small unidentifiable fish before he leaned back and stopped to gaze at his surroundings. The breeze helped with the stuffiness of his life jacket, though it nipped at his cheeks. Haru didn’t want to think about being out at sea during a storm too much, he could only hope that not too many people were caught out there that night. He tilted his chin towards the sky, it was clear and blue for the first time in a while. He smiled quietly to himself as he heard gulls calling from above. Humans weren’t really meant to be a part of the ocean, he had to leave eventually.

Haru walked back home and stored away the fish he caught for Sousuke, then prepared some of the mackerel to eat. He turned on the TV to see what was happening with the outside world, but it was fast swiping away his appetite, so he turned it off a few minutes later.

This was normally how he spent his days living by the ocean. Sometimes, the fishermen would invite him to go somewhere else for a vacation, but he would always miss the ocean when he accepted. _It’s like there’s something drawing me here, I can’t escape or even explain it._ A lot of people would find it a sad existence, to just find comfort and ease in wandering along the same shores everyday, but to Haru it felt right. Besides, there wasn’t really a shortage of things to do, he just doesn’t always accept invitations to go sailing or fishing with the others. This place cultivates a surprising amount of hobbies unrelated to the sea as well.

Haru read until his eyes drooped, and that's the rest of the night for him. The ocean sounded much more content than a week ago, and reassured, Haru fell asleep with his book open spine-up on his chest.

Sousuke would never let him hear the end of it if Haru told him that he was actually looking forward to the fisherman’s visit the next day, so Haru said nothing about that.

“Oh, you’re here early, Sousuke.” Haru stepped aside to let the taller man inside.

Sousuke laughed, “Well, I do have to go fishing for a bit with Kisumi later or he would keep bothering me about it, but I didn’t want to go back on my promise to visit.” He ran his gaze across the interior, “Haru, your house feels as empty as ever, didn’t you pick up embroidery a while ago?”

Haru slid out a dresser drawer by the doorway, “I did. I didn’t know where to hang them up and where they fit in though, so I just keep them in here.”

Sousuke made an impressive effort to smile at the delicate pieces of stitching, “Hey, give yourself some credit. You could hang them up anywhere and they’d look perfect.”

Haru blinked at a sudden idea he had, “Well if you like them, I could give you some nautical ones I made to decorate the shop a bit more.”

Before Sousuke could decline or accept, Haru rummaged through the drawer and shoved a handful of his projects at him, making sure the fabric was stretched taut over the hoops. Then Haru remembered the fish.

“Oh yeah, I also got something for you yesterday,” He rushed to the kitchen with Sousuke trailing awkwardly behind him, “I don’t know much about fish other than mackerel, but I thought you might like it.”

Sousuke gingerly held all the embroidery under one arm to take the bag, his face lit up at the fish inside, “Oh, it’s a seabream, thanks Haru!”

“Don’t mention it.” _Seabream, hope I can remember that, he seems to like it._ Haru thought.

Sousuke only stayed for thirty minutes since Kisumi started calling him incessantly, but Haru appreciated his company nonetheless. Hopefully Kisumi visits soon, it’s a bit harder to get a hold of that guy since he acts more on impulse. Sousuke mostly helped Haru with organizing his house, not that there was too much to organize. According to Haru’s preferences, Sousuke alphabetized his books and tidied his sewing materials. Haru wanted to contribute, but Sousuke refused to let him put his hands on anything.

“Sousuke, I’m not going to get any better at organizing if you don’t let me do it.”

“You can organize in your own time, I’m happy to do it while I’m here.”

He didn’t think Sousuke could possibly go fishing with _Kisumi_ of all people if he tuckered himself out with worrying about Haru’s house. With Sousuke’s remaining five minutes inside, Haru somehow managed to convince him to take a break and have some tea. Then Sousuke had to answer his phone multiple times and the only way he could appease the five-year-old man on the other side was by agreeing to go to the docks right _now_. The hardness in Sousuke’s teal eyes never matched his actual personality.

“I’m still going home to put away the stuff you gave me before I go, though. I don’t trust Kisumi to not snatch something when we’re done,” Sousuke smiled as he opened the door, “I’ll see you later, Haru!”

“Bye.”

The door closed and the sudden quiet of the house smothered Haru, he finished his tea and sat still for some time. Following Sousuke’s advice, he shook his head and got up to finish tidying the house.

As he placed a broom back to its place, he looked at the dresser of embroidered projects and thought of Sousuke’s words from earlier. Haru opened the drawer and took some finished hoops out.

He wandered around the living room, walking backwards from some parts of the wall to assess, before he finally hung up a few hoops. Maybe Sousuke was right, the space did feel less empty with Haru’s art on the wall. It was only three hoops forming a line, but he’s sure he’ll start hanging up some more in other rooms soon.

One of the hoops was a little portrait of his grandmother, embroidered in greyscale since it was based on an older photograph where he thought she had the most radiant smile. He remembered stitching it fondly, the process had been a bit stressful due to the sudden jump from painting to needlepoint, but somehow he managed to be satisfied with the result. On either side of the portrait were simple ocean motifs with various sea creatures that seemed to fit. Haru had fun with stitching the breaching whale in one of them.

A year ago, Haru had shown Rei, the fisherman with the _best_ sense of aesthetics, his first few pieces at a market stall the bespectacled man was managing. He only wanted feedback on what to improve, but Rei caught him off guard with high praise.

“They’re beautiful Haruka! Your stitches remind me a bit of Van Gogh’s brush strokes. I never even considered you could translate that style into embroidery. I hope you don’t mind me saying so.” He adjusted his glasses, thankfully his gloves haven’t been dirtied by the insides of fish yet, “Don’t show Hazuki though, he’d pester you to make him some to hang in the ships.”

“Ah, you don’t have to call me Haruka, I already have Kisumi to annoy me with that.” Haru stared at the stitches, “I suppose I didn’t have a particular style in mind, but I wouldn’t mind making Nagisa some, it’s fun, don’t worry.”

It’s been about an hour since Sousuke left. Haru itched to go on a beach stroll at this point. He brought a notepad with him too, just in case he saw something interesting to embroider or paint. Haru climbed down the wooden stairs at a leisurely pace. He knew the rocks alongside the railing like the back of his hand, he already painted them once, but someday he should embroider them too.

Haru walked next to the gentle lapping waves like that for the next fifteen minutes, sketching thumbnail drawings in the soft yellow pages of the notepad. Then he learned that there was something to be feared in the unknown of the delayed and inevitable.

Something tangled in a fishing net had washed up in the sand earlier that morning, a week after the storm. Based on the size of the dark heap of synthetic webbing, the creature was much larger than a normal fish.

Haru crept towards the unmoving shape, he carefully lifted up the net to reveal a large lemon-yellow tailfin. He tried pulling more away, only to realize that the net had begun cutting into the scaly green tail. Haru dropped the net in alarm, then rushed back home to get some scissors and a bucket someone gave him for no reason a long time ago. He forgot his thumbnail sketches at home.

Haru sprinted back to the foaming shore and set to work on gingerly prying away the net, cutting the creature free. The dark colour of the nylon contrasted against the green of the fish and Haru began to snip indiscriminately at the dark lines that seemed too tangled to work through. He bit the inside of his cheek as he hauled the heap farther from the water, hoping he didn’t tighten the net’s grasp. The bucket eventually  filled with sinewy scraps. With a final motion, Haru pulled the fishing net away from its hostage. He shoved the last of the tough material into the bucket and clumsily tossed the scissors into it.

He couldn’t be seeing things right. Mermaids only existed in his grandmother’s tales and in fiction, after all.

But there was the human half right there, scales starting at the waist delicately blended tan skin into the brightly-coloured serpentine tail. He was unsure if they were still alive, but there was the faint rise and fall of breathing. Haru wouldn’t know about the anatomy of mermaids, but that’s a good sign.

Curiously, Haru brushed some sand out of the boy’s brown hair. His human half was quite muscular, the lines angular, but his facial features were soft and gentle. Haru shook his head, he had to do something about the wounds that laced the mermaid’s body.

In a rush of adrenaline, Haru somehow hoisted the mermaid to his house with bucket in hand, fish half trailing awkwardly in the sand around his feet. By the time he reached the stairs, his legs protested to each step on the worn wooden surface, but Haru was driven by the alarming amount of urgency pumping in his veins.

Haru managed to fit both him and the mermaid through the front door and even into the bathroom upstairs, where he drew a lukewarm bath to keep the mermaid in some place other than on the floor.

He rummaged through the cabinets to find an antiseptic and maybe some bandages so the disinfected areas won’t immediately wash away in the bathtub. Lucky for them, a local fisherman by the name of Sousuke regularly keeps Haru’s cabinets well-stocked with whatever he deems necessary. Which is how Haru found himself shuffling through various sizes of waterproof first aid adhesives, which rapidly lifted his hopes. _I have to thank that man so much next I see him, he’s the only national treasure that gives this much of a damn about me._ Haru wouldn’t be saying the last part out loud.

The biggest size he managed didn’t quite cover the largest wound, which wasn’t too much of a problem. Haru could just improvise with the adhesive parts and form a bigger bandage.

After feverishly rubbing in disinfectant, and narrowly avoiding a reflexive tail to the face, Haru carefully slapped on the bandages on all the cuts with no criteria for how big or significant.

Then he suddenly found himself staring blankly at the mermaid, surrounded by waste from all the bandages, and it dawned on him that this was craziest thing the ocean sent his way so far. Haru wasn’t even sure if he was dreaming anymore. He did all he could, though, all he can do now is wait for the mermaid to wake up. Hopefully it wouldn’t be too uncomfortable for his tail to coil for a bit in the bathtub, Haru’s living environment wasn’t exactly spacious enough for a mermaid. It would’ve been easier if the tail was as small as people usually depicted.

Haru sighed and cleaned up, he didn’t mind giving up his bathtub for a bit, one of the fishermen would let him use theirs. Using the toilet was a different matter, he may just have to get used to the situation at hand, he didn’t think a mermaid would judge him the same way a human would. It would be a hassle to walk five minutes into town to do his business.

Haru prepared the last of the mackerel Sousuke gave him, hoping that it’d still be warm by the time his guest woke up. From previous experience, it was easy to hear the splashing of a bath from the washroom, so maybe it wasn’t necessary for Haru to check so often whenever he had to wait during meal preparation. _But who knows?_ Haru thought, _Who knows how quietly mermaids could be in the water?_

Eventually, Haru had to eat with the second plate sitting across from him. He would be able to reheat it anyway, but the mackerel was already past its peak as it sat untouched.

Haru felt different as he lay unmoving across the couch, he already knew this would disrupt the easy roll of his days. He would have no more excuses to not take better care of himself once he schedules things around taking care of the mermaid. Telling his friends about this would be another bridge entirely.

Unable to think outside of what just happened, Haru tried to register his thoughts with embroidery. His memory is far from photographic, but he remembers seeing the mermaid’s face for the first time as clear as day. He drew a sketch with a water soluble pen, then quickly got to work with his needles and threads. The careful rhythm of the needle going through the fabric seemed to make time slow down. The mermaid’s face was serene and lovely, beautiful even; Haru almost felt afraid of what kind of power was hidden behind those closed eyelids. Many tales his grandmother shared with him about mermaids at least put implications on them being the difference between life and death for sailors. Haru would just have to see if he’s set to drown out at sea sometime soon.

That thought didn’t panic him like he always believed it panicked those sailors, however. As he stroked one patch of stitching with his thumb, Haru thought maybe some of the sailors didn’t even mind dying after seeing a mermaid like the one in his bathtub. It would take a while to complete this project he compulsively started.

Haru glanced at the living room wall, eyes lighting up at his grandmother’s younger smile. _I’ll stitch you as an older person someday, I promise._

He dropped the hoop and needle upon hearing a faint stirring of water upstairs. The metallic sound of the needle hitting the tile floor echoed softly in the silence that followed. Haru rushed to the second floor and hesitated just as his hand reached for the door handle.

With a deep inhale, his knuckles turning white with his grip on the handle, Haru opened the door to see two wide, forest-green eyes gazing back at him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "what's the best deus ex machina"  
> "yamazaki sousuke"
> 
> The writing style was made to fit how Haru's days by the ocean blend together, though it may be clumsy in some parts, I hope it'll still be an enjoyable read.  
> To help with some imagery, Haru's embroidery style is also based on [Cayce Zavaglia's](http://www.caycezavaglia.com) beautiful works, I highly recommend taking a look at them!  
> Thank you for reading!


End file.
